i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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