Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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