I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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