A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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