Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
