the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
