Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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