i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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