Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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