Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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