my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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