the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
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