i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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