operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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