I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
