Where are you?
In a non slutty way
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
