guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
