the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
