but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
