as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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