She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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