He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
