i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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