Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Randomize
