I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
