a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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