Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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