he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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