I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
