Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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