actually, I'm a sock model
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
