He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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