Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
