i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
