I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
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I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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