Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
