So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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