I skipped work to stalk him.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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