so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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