We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
She even gives head with a lisp.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
