I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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