Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
