somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
