I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize