i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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