We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
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I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
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He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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