Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize