That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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