You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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