Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
