don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
