Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
