I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
