Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
The dick lei will go down in squad history
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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