She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
