i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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