im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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