well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize