his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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