Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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