Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
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